Running the Gauntlet

Spring… the end of the school year is nigh and senior-itis is spreading like a virus. The weather is warming up, and sap is beginning to course through the leaves and branches of trees. Sap is also pasted to the walls in the parking garage, the commons and the hallways of our buildings on campus. Unlike natural sap, the sap that plagues us here at UWB is the posturing of student government hopefuls.

First, I was met at the parking garage by painted posters urging me to vote for this person, or that issue. The most absurd: a relationship with gold’s gym for students. Next I saw an older man combing his hair. As I approached and smiled, he offered me a Gideon New Testament. I politely declined.

As I approached the commons, a candidate (I found out later) was between me and the door. He stood with a silly grin, and no other identifying characteristics. He asked me how I was and I guardedly replied. He told me he will have water here later if I wanted any. I thought… how weird.

I got into class and we had guests. Two of the candidates for student president were there to pitch themselves to us. It was as painful as a root canal. The first speaker (the one who offered the water) bashed his opponent, and never identified himself.

What is the point? I am hard-pressed to find and direct effect student government has had on me; aside from the crap they litter the campus with every spring, and their demands to vote.

I do understand their aspirations to have a notable addition to their Curriculum Vitae. What employer or academic program considers back-slapping and glad-handing as a marketable skill.

Intolerant? Yes. Arrogant, Probably.