Last Night: Epilog

Subtitle: Feline Puberty

When we left the “Cat and Foot” saga, I ran for the couch and left Mrs. eSquared on her own with the cat. Yes, I admit it was cowardly, but running away is a perfectly viable defensive maneuver. It has worked well in the past.

So… back to the problem. The cat has taught himself a new trick; oddly enough, this trick has a name: Feline Masturbation. Yes, this has been confirmed by several dubious internet sources. Here’s one:

Masturbation is a difficult problem to deal with in cats. It is a normal behavior and it is probably pleasurable. This combination makes it hard to discourage. It is not really unusual for neutered cats to learn to masturbate and it may be possible for them to produce some fluid.

In a few cats, this can become (or possibly starts out as) an obsessive/compulsive disorder. If this is a really persistent problem rather than an occasional one, it would be a good idea to ask your vet if there is a behaviorist in your area who you can work with to help resolve the problem. In this case medications for obsessive/compulsive disorders may be helpful. As far as I know, these are the only cats in which medication is likely to help.

Mike Richards, DVM
http://www.vetinfo.com/cmale.html#Masturbation

The brat is about 3 years old now. I don’t know how old that is in cat years, but he sure acts like a teenager. Like any normal teenager, he’s experimenting. I can imagine what’s going on in his little kitty head…

“Sleep… sleep… where’s that lady with the crunchies… sleep… “
“Poop… sleep… hey! You're not the lady with the crunchies! Sleep…”
“Sleep… what’s this… humm… mmm… oooh… that’s nice… That was fun… let’s do that again…”

(sigh) I miss those days... Good times.

Our First Peek...

We had our first look at Baby Pink in November 2006 at Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland.

Ten Years Later…

I was gutting my way through Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane’s abysmal 2005 remake of The Producers. I loved Gene Wilder and Zero Icanneverrememberhislastname in the 1968 original, when Mrs. eSquared walked up to me with her lips pursed, and her eyebrows knitted together. She thrust a white plastic stick at me and stared.

After a moment I recognized the stick as a home pregnancy test; the first home pregnancy test we’ve needed in our relationship. I looked cautiously from the symbols on the test to her eyes… back and forth. She was waiting for my response… that was clear. There was just one problem. I couldn’t read the test thingy. Horizontal lines… vertical lines… pluses… minuses… I knew it said something important and from the look on Mrs. eSquared’s face, really important. I just had no idea what it was.

Finally, I deduced that if the test was negative, and everything was normal, we wouldn’t be having this… silent, coded conversation. So I guessed.

We’re having a baby? I said…

Indeed we are. I can’t wait to meet her.