Earplugs in tight; I am sleeping soundly. Until…Poke. Poke. Poke on my hip.
I turn to Mrs. eSquared.
Mrs. E2: “Blah wahwah blah wah blah waah.”
Me: THWUK (I pull out one of my earplugs) “Whah?”
Mrs. E2: “There’s something wrong with the cat.”
I look at the cat… he looks back at me. I give him a couple of scritches, jam the plug back in my head and lay down. I mumble, “He’s fine.”
Drifting… drifting…
Poke. Poke. Poke… this time harder.
Mrs. E2: “Blah wahwah blah BLAH!”
Me: THWUK (I pull out one of my earplugs) “Whah?”
Mrs. E2: “He’s humping my LEG!”
Me: That’s ridiculous… he’s fixed… He has no idea… I trail off and look at the cat… he looks back at me as if to say, “Whaaaaat… I’m a cat.”
I have absolutely nothing to say to this, so I shove the plug back in my ear and try to go back to sleep.
Drifting… drifting…
POKE! POKE! POKE! I’m sure I’ll have a bruise.
I sit straight up fighting the urge to yell and THWUK, I pull out one of my earplugs.
Sure enough… the cat is humping my wife’s foot. I kind of felt sorry for him.
Both Mrs. eSquared and the cat look at me like I’m supposed to do something. I imagine…
Mrs. E2: “Make him stop… I’m trying to sleep!”
Cat: “Would you make her shut up and stop moving her foot… I’m busy!”
Without a word, I took my pillow and went and slept on the couch.
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